Welcome to episode #113 of the Morning Upgrade Podcast. In this week’s episode I spoke with Ryan Miller, a performance coach for businesses and individuals.
Top Talking Points
- What it means to perform at a high level on an individual basis.
- The correlation between being healthy and being successful.
- How to create personalized steps to find success in the areas you want to improve.
Resources & Links
Connect With Ryan at RyanJamesMiller.com.
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Episode Transcript
Announcer
Welcome to the Morning Upgrade podcast with Ryan Cote, where we feature casual conversations with entrepreneurs about personal development and growth.
Ryan
Hey, Ryan. Welcome to the Morning Upgrade podcast. How’s it going?
Ryan Miller
Good, man, how about yourself?
Ryan
Good. I’m excited to talk to you. We’re fellow ISL brothers, Iron Sharpens Iron, the mastermind that we’re part of. I’m excited to have you on and talk to you. And I know you’re big into personal development, too. So that’s obviously a perfect fit for this show. So why don’t you? Why don’t you tell everyone you know who you are and what you do for a living and give us a win happening in your life right now?
Ryan Miller
Yeah, so I am what I consider to be a performance coach. And I say consider because, obviously, coaching typically happens both in the business and personal side of the world. I do my fair share of business coaching and consulting as well. But primarily, I focus on helping people to perform at a high level. And I’m just extremely passionate about helping people to do that. People traditionally hire a coach because they want to achieve an outcome or overcome a challenge. And I think that that’s a great desire. But I believe the best way to do that is by helping people to become better and who they are. And that will just naturally help them produce to produce better outcomes. And so how people are performing, they’re just super passionate about that, celebrating my 11th year in business, and just loving the ability to be able to contribute to other people’s lives and impact them in that way.
Ryan
When you say high level, what do you mean, like what does that mean to you high performing at a high level?
Ryan Miller
So it’s a great question, right? Because I think that that is a moving target for everybody on the one hand, and at the same time, I think there are certain metrics that we see out in the world that people kind of naturally desire for good or for bad, you know, maybe it’s that seven-figure business or seven-figure income. And so you know, there are some, like general metrics that people look at, what I say, to perform at a high level is ultimately to become the very best I can with the gifts and talents that God has given. And that requires a significant level of self-awareness, which is why hiring a coach is so important because somebody like me has the ability to objectively see into other people, the things they can’t see in themselves, bring those things to the surface and then develop those the best way that I can. Maybe a good way for anybody that’s a parent out there listening is, you know, for my kids, I have two daughters one is now 20, and one is 13. But as they made their way through school, performing at a high level was very different. My older daughter wasn’t as good of a student; she didn’t have the math and science skills that my younger daughter has. So if I just said that what is acceptable in our house is straight A’s and straight A’s only because that’s performing at a high level, well, that would have actually set my older daughter up for failure. Whereas for my younger daughter, I actually have to hold her back from trying to strive for pluses all the time. And so it’s really about understanding how that person is built, what their unique gifts and talents are, what their passions and their purpose in life are, and then helping them to get to an ultimate or high level of performance. And so I help people to identify those things so that they’re living the life that they were created for versus living the life that somebody else told them that they should live.
Ryan
There’s a lesson there to that knowledge, like where you want to be like, we’re not where you want to be, what goals you want to achieve, where you want to get to, and what success looks like for you. Because you’re right, it’s different for everyone. I think that’s kind of what makes management so hard because everyone’s got if you’re managing 10 people, it’s quite a possible noon to manage them 10 different ways because they, they’re just different people that respond differently to different ways of communication. A lot of lessons in there; thanks for sharing.
Ryan Miller
One thing that we often talk about is goals and goal setting. And obviously, you know, you know, as a business leader, goals are really important. They are what help us to manage expectations and to continue to move the ball forward. But for an individual, the challenge with goals is they’re really nothing more than a mile marker. And at best, they’re a means to an end. We’re not trying to achieve goals, like our life’s purpose is not to achieve goals. Our life’s purpose has something to do with an experience of life. And so I’m trying to help people to look beyond the goal, like let’s use the goal as an indicator, but let’s not make goals, the end all be all, what does the goal produce? What are you hoping to accomplish or experience as a result of achieving that goal? And so again, I’m helping people to think bigger, to think beyond that. So they can actually get to a place where as silly and simple as it sounds, how can you actually just be happy with the life that you’re living? And such a journey to because like, I know if when I when I’ve achieved goals and the guys in my mastermind, it’s like okay, it’s great, but now what’s next, you know, and so if you can’t appreciate the journey, if you can appreciate where you’re at and what you’ve got It’s really the goal like it says a mile marker, it’s something to aim at. But in the end, when you get there, you’re likely going to, or what’s next? And so you might as well if that’s the case, and that’s the case for most people, you might as well learn to enjoy the journey and enjoy what you’ve got currently, at least in my experience. Well, that how discouraging is that, you know, when, like, it’s with good intention that people say that, but you know, you work so hard, whether it’s for 30 days, or a year or 10 years to achieve this goal. You’ve put all of your stock into it, you’ve invested time, maybe money, all of these things, you achieve that goal, you celebrate it, and then either you yourself or somebody else says to you, now what’s next? And it’s like, well, wait a minute; everything has been pointed at this one date or this one number. Now, I don’t even get that much time to enjoy it. And now I have to go out and do it again. I mean, it just becomes this exhausting hamster wheel that never allows us to truly enjoy the life that we’ve been given. And so back to what you just said, it really is more about enjoying the journey and making sure that every day every step of the way, I’m living my life to the best of my ability, and then I’m doing as good as I possibly can with what I’ve been given.
Ryan
Yeah, absolutely. And you mentioned something. And then we’re gonna pivot to your morning routine. So I want to, I want to find out what that looks like. But you mentioned something that stood out to me celebrating your wins. And I don’t know where I heard this. It’s likely a podcast or audible because that’s, like, 99% when it goes into my ears. But this guy said that he thinks celebrating your wins is going to be like the next gratitude practice meditation, like the mindset strategies. It’s a tried and true; he thinks that celebrating your wins is going to be right up there with those two. So that stood out to me when you said that. That’s good. Your performance coach. So obviously, you need to take care of your own performance to show up the best version of yourself to your clients. And I’m assuming that a morning routine feeds into that maybe you’ve got some habits to share with us. But let’s start off with your morning routine. What does that look like?
Ryan Miller
Yeah, so that has looked different through different seasons of life. But I will say that this most current season, which has been going on for about the last year and a half to two years, is working extremely well. For me, this is not a prescription of what to do. This is a description of what Ryan does. But for me, I wake up typically sometime just before just after seven o’clock in the morning, I make my way into the living room, I sit down, and I read through either a book of the Bible or some sort of devotion that’s tied to Scripture. And from that, then I journal either off of what I’ve heard or read or something that stuck out to me. But included in that always, and this is actually a practice that I’ve been really working on the last couple of months, is I’m always attempting to do two things as I journal one, and this is just because this is what helps me is I’m trying to write out how I think about how big God is because I have a tendency to control to try to control everything. And when I remind myself how big God is, it reminds me that I don’t have to be in control. Second, to that is then I try to do my best to practice gratitude. Because as much as I want to keep growing my business and growing my life and getting stronger into the data, I want to make sure that I’m not forgetting about all that God has given me right now. So I’m just writing about how thankful I am for my wife and my kids, and maybe a business deal that just, you know, that I just landed or food on the table, whatever that may be. So I journal, and then as I’m finished journaling, then I pray. And again, that’s just praying for Thanksgiving, and then maybe, probably, you know, I’m praying for the needs of some friends that I have a prayer list of friends that I pray for, and then anything that my family or I need. From there, that takes me up to about 745 in the morning. And then I head off to the gym. So I am a CrossFit guy. I love it because it pushes me really hard, keeps me competitive, and keeps the time domain. So I show up for the eight o’clock class, and I’m done by 9 am. And then, after the gym, I go home, shower, get cleaned up, and get something to eat, and I’m in the office and ready to work at 10 o’clock. So pretty good routine covering a lot there journaling and reading and exercise. It’s funny how to exercise, and this is like no big secret here. But I’ve done 96 cities; I think we have a lot more in the queue. But I think every single guest I’ve had on, and I know it’s a personal development podcast that’s probably slanting that slant in that way anyway, but like, I think every single guest of mine has some sort of exercise routine, whether it’s CrossFit or running or stretching or yoga or something like that. And so it’s like it’s such a secret weapon for personal development and business, and I know that must say anything that’s like Brett groundbreaking, but when you talked about CrossFit, I had a thought in my head, of course, the exercise Is because he’s in the personal development, and he’s an entrepreneur and all that stuff. And it just, there’s such a connection between the two.
Ryan
Yeah, and I mean, I think it’s so important again, like some of this is just all of everything I’m gonna say it’s just such common knowledge. But you know, when our body is healthy, physically, it’s traditionally more healthy mentally and emotionally, when mentally and emotionally more healthy. Because then I can have better relationships, can perform better in my business. I can accomplish day-to-day tasks better. So it’s not just because I get the blood flowing, which is also really, really good. But it’s because I am maintaining a level of physical health that is contributing to positive mental and emotional health. And those things, as you look out into the world, and you look at people that that perform at a high level, traditionally, they’re reasonably healthy. And I believe that it’s that that’s what’s contributing to it is they have a healthy body that can then process and proceed, you know, in the other aspects of life in a much better way, is such a mood lifter to me, I’ll speak from personal experience, literally today, wasn’t in the greatest mood today was kind of like, and I went to my Krav Maga class, which is like self-defense type training, and I sweat profusely during the class. And it really pushed me, and I came back. And now I’m like, in a better mood, you know, literally in a better mood just from for an hour, sweating and moving in challenging myself. It’s such a mood-lifter. So true. Got a few minutes left. I want to talk to you about habits because I just, I’m assuming you’ve got some that are, maybe there are some habits that you share with your clients? I know it depends on the situation, of course. But are there any tried and true habits besides exercise that you can share that you follow? Or do you know that some of your clients follow that are really game changers for them?
Ryan Miller
Yes. So I start out by saying quit doing things that other people tell you, you should do. Not to say that there are not really good ones, but I’m so tired of everybody saying you need to get up at 5 am in order to be successful or you need to read 40 books a year in order to be successful. That may be the case. But what I have found to be most successful for myself, and again, don’t listen to me and say that I’m telling you my duties instead. But what I have found to be most successful, and what I have been able to lead a significant number of primary men but people through, is something a little bit different. And what that is, is I help people articulate the roles that they’ve been called to, so husband, father, friend, maybe a business leader, a community influence, or whatever that may be, then I say, okay, in that role as a husband, what what are the things what, what are the actions, the duties, the words of somebody that you would say, is a high performing husband, somebody that would be a successful husband, and it’s like, oh, well, I compliment my wife. And you know, every single day, I date my wife at least once a week, I’m investing into our relationship, I take me setting time aside or whatever. And so I started to build habits around the characteristics of a high performer and each of the roles that God has called me to. And so some of those things are general like exercise, or reasonably healthy eating and limiting alcohol consumption and junk food. But other things are unique to us as individuals. And so it’s very helpful for people to articulate those roles, and then define a high performer, that what you believe a high performer to be in each of those roles. You can look to other people for guidance and influence, and ultimately, we need to stop living other people’s lives. In this season of life that we’re all in which, everybody’s talking about performing at a high level and being uber-successful. And being habit driven. We end up falling into the trap of living other people’s lives instead of living the life that God has called us to do individually. So I just think that it’s important that we focus on what we’re called to and how we can best perform. I will say that performing doesn’t mean nailing it every day, but just performing to the best of our ability and in each of those roles.
Ryan
I think that’s really important. So understanding what role you’re going to play and then tailoring the habits and the goals to that. I think that’s really important. It really starts with knowing what you want and, like, I can’t play many times; I’ve journaled on that just trying to get my head clear because sometimes it’s hard to really know what you want in the area of your life unless you like really intentional about it and sit down with no electronics, no distractions and just pen to paper and just figuring it out. At least, that’s how my brain operates. Of course, everyone’s different, but yeah, what you want. Let’s see one last question for you. Okay, I’m gonna go to business for a second. Then we’re gonna wrap up with you sharing your website or whatever else, whatever else you want to share. My last question for you is about business. I just give us, as you said, You’ve been in business for 11 years, and most businesses don’t make it that long. So what have you found to be most successful in growing it, whether it’s digital marketing, or marketing, or some sort of referral system, and obviously doing good work? What’s worked for you?
Ryan Miller
Yeah, so I’ll say three things. First off, building great relationships makes sure that you are deeply invested in the people around you that you believe are going to be good for your life and your business. So that’s extremely important. I believe that’s foundational. Number two is to be passionate about what you do. If you don’t love what you’re doing, some facet of what you’re doing, or the industry that you’re serving, the outcome that you’re producing, then eventually, you will be miserable, and you will fail. That’s just, hands down. And then finally, even though this is actually my first one, but finally, is there’s a quote by C.S. Lewis that said, It’s not your business to succeed, but to do what is right when you have done it, so the rest lies with God. And so, as best as I can, because I own my own business, I’ve been able to control the fact that I try to do right by every single person that I come into contact with my clients, prospects, partners, whomever. And I believe that that, along with then again, the relationships, and the fact that I love, what I do, has led to a good level of success. I’m still far off from where I want to be. But I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished. And I think it’s been it’s been because I really allowed God to lead the way. And I’ve tried to just follow by doing the best I can for every single person that’s put in front of me.
Ryan
I want to pull out one thing you said; then you can share your contact information. But you hit it and advise a lot about being passionate about what you do. But what you said was to be passionate about what you do or passionate about the results that you achieve for your customers or clients that the second part hadn’t heard before. And that kind of resonate with me because, you know, let’s say you’re in a service business, you may not be passionate industry, but it really gets you going about the results you get for your customers or clients. Maybe that’s where the passion lies. And that’s what keeps you going and keeps you growing. So wanted to pull that app has stood out to me.
Ryan Miller
Yeah, I mean, just, I know, we’re really tight on time. But I do want to articulate this point really, really quickly because I think it’s important. So I end up interacting with a lot of people that come to me and say like, I’m frustrated in the job that I have, I want to go start my own business, or I’m frustrated in the role that I’m in I want to work for somebody else. And so then I asked them like, Well, what do you want to accomplish by changing, right by doing something new? They’re like, well, you know, I really want to impact people. I love people, and I want to impact them. And so I reflect back to them. So wait a minute, you’re telling me that you can’t impact people in the place that you’re in? Well, I can. But this goes back to what you said earlier, like, because we haven’t really sat down and understood who we are and what we’re ultimately after. We end up chasing a whole bunch of stuff that sounds good at the moment. But it really isn’t going to serve the deeper part of what we’re after. So just slow down when you start to think about the fact that you may not be happy with where you’re at. Because what you may end up seeing is, is that you just haven’t connected what you truly love to what you do. And more often than not, you can do that more easily than you think.
Ryan
Very good. Everyone, rewind that a minute and listen to that again. Think about what Ryan just said. That’s very, very true. Great way to end the conversation, right? And let’s, let’s give out your contact information. If someone wants to reach out to you, where should we send them?
Ryan Miller
The best place to go is to my website. That is www.Ryanjamesmiller.com. To learn more about the work I do, you can find me on social. You can find my foundation, too, Freedom Men’s Academy, that that we’re building a community around. So my podcasts that there’s a whole bunch of stuff there, but that’s a great central place to go.
Ryan
Thanks, Ryan. Great job. And thanks, everyone, for listening.
Ryan Miller
All right, thanks, Ryan.
Announcer
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