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Welcome to episode #87 of the Morning Upgrade Podcast. In this week’s episode I spoke with Tanille Royston, an attorney and HR consultant. 

Top Talking Points

  • What to do when you finally accomplish all the goals you’ve set for yourself.
  • Recognizing that you won’t always be happy and how to manage that.
  • How to improve your mental health by giving yourself grace.

Resources & Links

Connect With Tanille at TanilleRoystonLaw.com or tanille.royston@tanilleroystonlaw.com

Subscribe to The Morning Upgrade Podcast

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Morning Upgrade Podcast. If you enjoyed my conversation with Tanille, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and please leave a review.

Episode Transcript

Ryan  

Hey guys, it’s Ryan real quick. So my mission with the Morning Upgrade blog and podcast is to raise the awareness of morning routines and personal development. And I now have two products that also helped me with this mission. The first product helps you start a 20-minute morning routine. And the second product is a book that outlines how to use personal development to upgrade your life and business. You can get full details on both products over at morningupgrade.com. Thanks for letting me share and now on to the show.

Announcer  

Welcome to the Morning Upgrade podcast with Ryan Cote where we featured casual conversations with entrepreneurs about personal development and growth. 

Ryan

Tanille, welcome to the Morning Upgrade podcast. How are you?

Tanille  

I’m good. Yourself?

Ryan 

I’m doing great. I’m doing really well. Thanks for asking. excited to talk to you. So my audience Morning Upgraders can get to know you a little bit better. Why don’t you tell everyone you know who you are, and what you do for a living? And then maybe something that’s happening in your life right now that you’re really excited about something good?

Tanille  

Okay, sure. Well, my name is Tanille Royston. I’m here in the Dallas area. And I am an attorney and HR consultant. So on the legal side, I draft and review business contracts. And employment handbooks also do immigration. And on the HR side, I help small business owners develop policies and procedures and consult about terminations, hiring, and recruiting. And something that is good in my life now is I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life. And I think that’s because I’ve reached all my childhood dreams. And now that I have small children, I get to see them grow, develop and help them reach theirs. So this is the best time in my life ever.

Ryan  

Wow, that’s amazing. I’m definitely gonna dive deeper into that. Watch. Let’s dive deeper into that now. So you said you realize your childhood dreams? So where do you because sometimes when you reach your goals, you feel a bit stuck? Because like you always want to achieve and grow into something else. So what are you doing now? Are you just setting new goals? Or are you just pouring into your kids? What does it look like now that you’ve reached all your goals?

Tanille 

My husband and I have talked about this recently, and we’ve decided that we need to set more goals. So another goal we have is paying off our house. So that’s something that we want to do and we’re looking to complete it in a few years. And then also pouring into my children help helping them do everyday life, girl, develop, do their homework, help them with their spelling words, talk to them about sports, talk to them about life, me and thankful. So it is a combination of developing new dreams and helping my kids.

Ryan

So as a kid, you want to be a business owner, I’m assuming that was one of your goals?

Tanille  

No. I didn’t want to be a business owner. I didn’t want to be an attorney. As a kid, I wanted to be financially okay, I guess stable. I wasn’t a kid, I come from a working-class background. But my family members were more financially stable than I was. So I always dreamed of just being comfortable in life financially living in a big home was one of my dreams and having a family. So I’ve reached those goals. It took many, many, many, many years to reach them. And now that I’m there like I said, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

Ryan  

That’s great. What else do you do to feed your happiness?

Tanille 

Well, it’s a balance for me, I am a Christian woman. And so I’ve learned that the joy really comes from the Lord happiness is more of it can be a fleeting feeling, meaning, sometimes you’re going to be happy, sometimes you’re not going to be happy. In marriage, marriage is a good example. And what I’ve learned is not every day going to be happy in marriage, not every day, you’re going to be happy with your job, but it’s just more about you really concentrating on what you know God has called you to do and what kind of life he’s caused you to have. And just being thankful for the things you do have, and learning what he’s called you to do. What is your path and concentrate on that. So you can feel, I guess what you call happy,

Ryan 

I like that perspective, like just acknowledging that things are not always going to be good, you know, almost like, I was reading it or listening to it. But the advice was, wake up expecting to have to deal with problems today because the way it is, you know, but there’s going to be surrounded by a lot of good things too. But expect you’re gonna deal with some things. That’s life. A good perspective. Say on that, on that topic of against challenges. What are some of the challenges that you face in your business and how do you overcome them?

Tanille  

The biggest challenge is learning how to run and manage the business. My background is the law and in law school, you’re not taught how to run a law firm. You’re just taught like the laws and so a big challenge, you know, how do I do marketing? How do I do my accounting? How do I make a schedule for myself or establish a routine? So those are some of the challenges I faced in business and just, again, just learning in general, how to be a business owner.

Ryan  

Do you belong to any masterminds? Have you heard that term before?

Tanille 

I wouldn’t say masterminds, I will say different networking groups. And so I’ve done that ever since I started my business, go to networking events, and meet different people during happy hours.

Ryan  

Yes, very similar. I’m a huge fan of masterminds. It’s based on the I’m actually part of three now, I think is too much, I’m starting to realize, but Bob’s gonna go with it and see, see if I can make it work. But basically, it’s a group of people that get together and just talk weekly, or bi-weekly, and just try to support each other and help each other out like you have a question on running the business that you might not know about that someone else has already gone through it. And so they’ll say, Well, this is what I’ve found to work. I think it’s really key. You made me think of it when you talked about Yeah, cuz you’re right. It’s hard. It’s hard running a business, there’s a lot of you don’t know what you don’t know. And so just working through all of that, you know, let’s go back to personal development. I’d like to learn more about your morning routine. Can you tell me more about that?

Tanille 

So my morning routine is the default, helping my kids get ready for school. So wake up, and it’s all about them, getting them up, getting them something to eat their clothes on, making sure they brush their teeth. And here in Texas, fortunate to be able to walk my kids to school in the morning. So we usually do that every day walking to school and on the way to school, I found that was a good time to be with my kids and talk to them. And what I do with the oldest child who’s seven is we go over his spelling words, with the youngest child who’s five, we go over his address and phone number. And also during that time I talk to my kids about, you know, their relationship with Christ. And we also talk about what are the things that you’re thankful for today, what’s good about today, or even what’s happened in the last week that you’re very thankful for. And it’s a good time to, again, spend time for my kids and just get them in the process of always being thankful. There’s something you can always be thankful for even when you’re having a bad day or something didn’t go your way. So after I dropped them off at school, which is like a seven-minute walk, on my way back my routine is to pray is to meditate. And again, think about the things that I’m thankful for at that moment. Hey, to kneel, you know, look at the trees, aren’t they beautiful? Look at the houses, you’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood. With these types of houses, there’s so much that you can be thankful for. So why don’t you go over the things that you’re thankful for, and things that you really never thought you could have, or you only dreamed of just focus on those things.

Ryan 

I love how you pour into, I was actually going to ask you pour into your kids, I was actually going to ask you if you try to, I guess incorporate personal development into your kid’s routines because I do that a little bit too. And, and but you said you make them or you ask them what they’re grateful for and thankful for. So it sounds like you do, you’re starting to introduce them to those kinds of, I guess, mindset strategies.

Tanille 

I tell them the same thing that I’ve learned and I didn’t learn this until I was growing up every day, you’re not going to be happy. You know, these are not going to go your way. And that’s okay, that’s life. And so it’s just getting them to realize, hey, this is life. Now, this is you know, you’re not going to get your way. But you should still be thankful for things and you should look forward. Sometimes there are times when you’re going to have to make yourself happy. You know, you’re feeling upset. You didn’t get to be line leader today. Okay, well, that’s okay. Focus on the good things you’re gonna have to do again, you’re gonna have to make yourself happy.

Ryan 

Have you always been into personal growth?

Tanille 

No, I think it was a combination of going through therapy and really getting more into my faith. I wasn’t brought up in the church. So you know, some people think you’re brainwashed, and, you know, they force you to think a certain way, but I didn’t become a Christian until later in life. And one of the reasons was because it was so helpful in me thinking positively and it really grew and stretched me and knowing again, that you’re not going to be happy every single day. You’re not going to be happy every single day. You’re married every single day. You’re a business owner, every single day you’re a wife or your daughter or son. So it really resonated with me really it really helped me.

Ryan  

You remember the moment when you got into it. I remember my moment. It was when I read The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. It changed the way It way, I think. And that’s at least the time it stands out to me. So maybe I maybe started working for them. But that’s like the moment. I remember the clearest. Do you have a moment, a similar moment? Like when it started for you?

Tanille 

No, I don’t think I have one moment, I think it was a combination of me. Again, going to therapy again, going to my church on Sunday night. Not only that, just being around people who, who wanted to grow, wanted to challenge themselves and wanted to do better to be a wife, you know, I wasn’t taught how to be a wife. But I put myself around people who spoke about my marriage and poured into my marriage. I didn’t know how to be a business owner. But you know, I surrounded myself with people who are business owners and have the same goals as me.

Ryan 

Yeah, that’s perfect. Let’s talk about your business a little bit more, don’t worry, I want to ask you specific questions about your business because I don’t even know what to ask. I want to just ask you more in general, you know, how have you grown it? Like what have you had success with, and growing it?

Tanille 

A lot of it is personal growth, I didn’t want to be a business owner did not want to be a business owner at all. I think that this was the calling for me. And it took me about two or three years to really realize that this is what I was supposed to do. And not only just be a business owner to make money, but I really think I was called into doing it because it would challenge me. Personally. What I mean by that is I was painfully shy growing up. So you know, talking to people or calling people, that’s something I never ever, ever wanted to do. But being a business owner, I realized I had to do that. So it was we just seen that, hey, it’s new, I know, you don’t want to do this. But this is what it takes to grow your business. So you might have to do some cold calling. Or you might have to ask, Hey, can I speak at an event, and also it was giving myself grace, you know, I would sit there at my desk for about five minutes just to get the courage and just get the confidence to actually make that call, and I gave myself grace, meaning to nails. Okay, you can do it, give yourself five minutes. But I eventually did it. And so again, it’s I think with my business is personal growth, doing things that I didn’t want to do and doing things that I didn’t even think I could do. Another example would be posting pictures, I don’t I’m not a big picture taker, and I don’t like really talking about myself. But you know, I knew in business that I had to talk about my business somewhat. And so again, it’s getting the courage to go out and do something that I wouldn’t normally do post a picture tell people event I was at tell people what I’m doing in my business. So a lot of it is just was personal growth in me being a business owner.

Ryan 

I have a question. You mentioned a couple of times you didn’t want to be a business owner. So why did you become one? Why not just go work for a law firm and do what you do but work for a law firm? Why start your own business?

Tanille 

Okay, and I think this is what, and we call it in the Christian world. This is what God had wanted me to do. Every door was closed, you know, I apply for positions, and I didn’t get them. There are positions that, you know, I could have got, but I didn’t think I was a good fit. Like, personally, even before I applied. I’m like, No, I don’t think that will work. So again, this wasn’t something that I really wanted to do. But I do think that caught me for numerous reasons for me, you know, to be a business owner, have the freedom to be there with my kids, and to develop me personally. So I really didn’t think that I was called to be a business owner at this particular time.

Ryan  

Yeah, good for you taking action and all the things you described before pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, you practice what you preach, and you reached out to me to be on the show. And so you’re not just saying you’re doing it. So congratulations.

Tanille  

Thank you.

Ryan  

Tanille, I’ve got one last question for you. And then we’re going to wrap up with you telling everyone how they can learn more about you, if they want to reach out and say hello, let’s talk about habits beyond your morning routine with your kids. And Do you have any habits that you rely on it can be it can be in your life could be in your business, and what happens you can share with us.

Tanille  

One of the new habits I talked about this a little bit before was giving yourself grace. And this is what I learned, you know, and going to church basically is just knowing that, you know, it’s okay to say hey, you know, I don’t know how to do this or I’m scared to do this and just giving yourself a moment to say, okay, you know, acknowledge that you’re scared to do this. And this is kind of challenging for you, but it’s okay. You know, maybe we’ll make a plan for you to do it the next day or the next week. But again, really, really giving yourself grace that you’re gonna be okay, that you’re okay. So that’s one of the habits that I’ve learned too, especially being a business owner, you know, stepping out of your comfort zone is really hard for a lot of people and that’s okay. So definitely giving, giving myself grace, and then having a bit of having a schedule works. And for people who are really anal and a control freak like myself knowing that, hey, you got to schedule got a routine, if something messes up or you don’t do exactly what you plan to do at 9 am, you’re still okay. So I think that’s been helpful too as a habit, having a schedule, but not being so anal about it, where you beat yourself up about it.

Ryan  

A lot of those answers especially the first one were great about having grace for yourself or self-care and being so hard on yourself. I think a lot of us can relate to that. So thanks for sharing. Well, this is a great deal. I really enjoyed our conversation. If someone wants to reach out to you, where should we send them?

Tanille 

So you can go to my website www.tanilleroystonlaw.com. You can email me at tanille.royston@tanilleroystonlaw.com. And you can follow me on Facebook, on LinkedIn as well. And you can always just reach me.

Ryan 

Perfect. Thanks, Tanille. 

Tanille

Thank you.

Ryan 

Thanks for listening to the Morning Upgrade podcast. Please subscribe in review. And don’t forget to visit us at morningupgrade.com for more content.

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